In the words of Monika Kocaqi: “From Despair to Strength: A Lifelong Battle Against Gender-Based Violence”
Monika Kocaqi has dedicated twenty-five years to preventing gender-based violence (GBV) in Albania and her work is far from over. She has led groundbreaking initiatives, including the early implementation of the Domestic Violence Protection Law, overcoming skepticism and driving systemic change. Monika Kocaqi supported the establishment for the first time of the Coordinated Referral Mechanisms and enhanced the legal knowledge of professionals. She has been at the forefront of initiatives like gender-responsive budgeting to secure vital services for survivors of gender-based violence. Her extensive work includes authoring over forty training manuals, strategies, and research studies on GBV and gender mainstreaming in Albania and beyond.
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Tragic stories of abuse marked the beginning of my career. Freshly graduated and filled with dreams of changing the world, I thought that will and courage could solve everything. Twenty-five years of experience later, I still believe in solutions, but now know that law applied with precision, available services, long-term reintegration support, continuous empowerment of women and girls, and coordinated action, are required to prevent gender-based violence.
Initially my dream was to help children for a safer future. During my internship, I came to understand that protecting children, starts with empowering their mothers. Seeing women resigned to violence as their “destiny” fueled my mission: to restore their self-confidence, inform them on their rights, and guide them toward a life free from violence.
The absence of a dedicated law for immediate protection from domestic violence was the greatest challenge. Divorce was the only legal means of “escape” - a “rescue” that required time to take effect and was often abandoned midway, as the stigma, prejudice, and blame placed on women often cut deeper than the violence they endured daily.
The Domestic Violence Law 18 years ago, was a milestone, but its enforcement and high-standard support services remain critical. Nationally, there should be 24/7 availability of specialized support services for survivors of gender-based violence, sensitive to their diverse needs. Those specialized services shall be of high standards and continuously improve. There is a great need to have professional training to inculcate passion in professionals’ work and the value of each person in bringing an end to violence. We need ongoing awareness campaigns and to engage men and boys as allies to eliminate the existing gender stereotypes from society.
Achieving this will require adequate funding, human resources, and infrastructure, beyond mere promises. Annual budgets should reflect real costs and be regularly reviewed for effectiveness to guide further actions and address emerging forms of violence.
Accountability should reach not only the perpetrators of the violence but also the professionals or institutions that fail to act or take prejudiced actions against laws and human rights. I will push hard for such steps whenever I can, as both my everyday work and international experience prove that concerted action is the way forward. Challenging experiences with initial groups of men and boys, especially in religious communities, have helped shape my perspective on the prevention of gender-based violence. I would like this to be my life path.
As a daughter, I believe violence against mothers and disrespect is both a legal and moral crime. As a woman, I believe no one should do anything to stand in the way of women's empowerment or fail to recognize their contributions. As a wife, I believe that a healthy family depends on mutual support, respect, and shared contribution. As a mother, I believe that love, commitment, communication, and the building of self-value and self-respect are the greatest gifts I could ever bestow upon my children. As a citizen, I believe that state institutions must take concrete actions to actually prevent and eradicate gender-based violence, not only in campaigns or on international days. As a professional, I believe that challenges should be topped with professionalism, commitment, and responsibility. I call on young women and men to seek an education, fight for gender equality and justice, and say no to all forms of violence. To survivors of gender-based violence: know your worth, reject violence, and seek help - you are never alone.